Culture Shock Part 3: The "Why" Question

Generally speaking I think I'm pretty laid back and for the most part positive in attitude. I long ago mastered the art of delegating worrying, so I don't do much of that at all. (What, me worry?) Stress levels are usually fairly low these days. However, despite this, I too have been known to succumb to the phenomenon known to all expats as "Having a Manila Moment".

This past week has been full of them.

What does it mean to experience a Manila Moment? Well it could be an overwhelming urge to scream or lose it or punch someone or weep with frustration. Or all of the above. It could be when the petty irritants build and build until you are near to exploding and just can't believe what you are going through and ask how can some people be so stupid or so incompetent or so mindless or so fucked up (technical term). Or all of the above. And even worse, is that you know, you KNOW, with absolute and complete certainty, that should you indeed scream, lose it, punch, weep, explode or in any way lose your cool, you are doomed. And it will change nothing. Except the interpersonal dynamics and the loss of face on both sides.

I have said that this is a country of "little pieces of paper". Every transaction requires multiple pieces of paper, forms in triplicate, numerous clerks involved and, what appears to MY eyes, complete inefficiency and waste of time. (Are you with me all of you who have spent time abroad???) An example. In early days I went to a store that sells electronics and small appliances. I wanted to buy a small appliance and pay by credit card. I selected the item and then...waited. And waited. And counted. SIXTEEN people were involved in that transaction. I'm not making this up. One person helped me select and took it to a counter. Another person wrote on a little piece of paper. Then another person took my credit card and wrote on another little piece of paper. And then took the little piece of paper to another person who did God knows what. And on and on, right through to the security guard at the front door who examined the purchase, peered closely at yet another little piece of paper, then stamped it, with gusto before allowing me to leave the building - leaving, I might add, as a defeated blithering idiot, a mere shadow of my former self. As I escaped from this retail purgatory and got in the car, I said to Lory, "If I EVER ask you to bring me here again, DON'T!"

This past week our brand new car turned out to need a brand new transmission. It took 8 days and involved dealing with the Honda dealer and service department and also with the car rental company for our temporary replacement. Thank goodness I have no job, because all of this became my full time job. I'll say no more. I already used up my rant space on the appliance purchase.

I notice there is a phrase we all tend to use. It starts with the word "Why". "Why" do they...(fill in the blank)? It always implies that there is no need for it, that it is inefficient, that there is a better way to do it, and so on. The truth is it means we are looking at this world through our back home lense, our back home experience - which just happens to be a back home world of quite extraordinary efficiency, technology and productivity. There's absolutely no comparison, but still, we do compare. There is no answer to those, really rhetorical, questions. Or if there is an answer of some sort, it is so very much more complex than the question itself. So I've decided that I'm eliminating the word "why" from my vocabulary. I'll use positive reinforcement so for every x days I don't use the word "why", I'll treat myself to something swell. Behaviour modification for the sake of my own sanity.

After all the car drama was over this morning - car fixed and back, rental car returned, all those people and little pieces of paper out of my life, I headed to the spa. Reflexology and lymphatic massage. Two and a half hours, 1200 pesos (27 bucks). As I was into some serious relaxing it occurred to me, once again, that it is all in the attitude. Ommmmmm.

May those Manila moments be few and far between.

Peace.

Tonight I sat in a darkened room looking out the big windows from my perch on the 32nd floor. I watched an extraordinary performance of a lightning storm (no rain) playing high in the sky over the citylights. Huge and powerful, like fireworks from the natural world, the real world, it went on for hours. Lucky.


(Not my photo - don't I wish? This from www.chaseday.com "An image site for tornado chasers, weather photographers, sky lovers and dreamers")